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  • Caesar Cliffius

    My name is Cliff Eastham. I live in West Virginia with my wife Debbie, the loveliest lady in the world, and my youngest daughter, Holly who is equally as lovely as her mother.

    I enjoy writing about sports, and love a good healthy debate. My favorite teams are the Cincinnati Reds and the Washington Redskins.

    There are only a couple of sports that I don't write about, Hockey and Soccer specifically. My favorite sports are Baseball, Boxing, NFL, NCAA Basketball, MMA.

    Feel free to look around, and your comments are most welcome. Subscribe via email if you wish.

    It is decreed.....Caesar Cliffius
    this 8th day of December, in the Year of our Lord 2009.

My Baseball Christmas List

What do I want for Christmas? A million bucks in small bills. I realize that is not going to show up under my tree, so let me think again.

Oh yeah, how about a wish-list, baseball style. Yes, that’s it!

First, I would like to see Roy Halladay end up with the Cincinnati Reds this offseason. Probably won’t happen, but I didn’t think I was going to get that “fanner 50” toy pistol when I was a kid either.

Next, I think I would like to hear the great Randy Johnson say that the time has come to say “that is enough”. He has been my favorite pitcher since Tommy John and I can’t stand too much more of the 4+ ERA and nearly as many losses as wins. He won his 300th and then some, there is really nothing left to prove. He is second in the universe in strikeouts and nobody will ever catch him.

I would like to see Jim Thome sent to a team where he can DH regularly. He is now sitting at 564 lifetime home runs, and i feel like one good year would put him over the top into the 600 club, assuring him of a place in the Hall of Fame.

I would like to see the following players retire immediately: John Smoltz, Tom Glavine (I know he didn’t play anywhere last season, but he hasn’t officially hung them up yet), Ken Griffey, Jr (I know he has already decided to stay, but that is a big mistake), Jason Giambi, Jamie Moyer, and Omar Vizquel (He just signed a deal with the White Sox, but I still want to see him go). These guys are ruining their statistics by hanging on, not to mention their legacy.

I would like to see the Molina Brothers learn acrobatics and call themselves the Flyin’ Molina Brothers. They could travel with a circus during the offseason.

I wish Evan Longoria would change his name to Evan Longoria-Parker.

I wish people would stop calling the Florida Marlins the “Fish”. That sounds so degrading, it would be like calling a prestidigitator a “Magician”.

I would like to see ALL sports announcers cease using the term “a buck sixty-five” or whatever for describing someones anemic batting average or incredible earned run average. Please, just stop them. It was cool 10 years ago, let us find a new catch phrase and move on.

I am asking this way in advance, but I would like to see at least one 20-game winner next season. Just one, please.

I don’t know who fulfills these wishes or what channels I need to go through, but they all seem like small requests to me. So, let’s all wish real strong that the grantor of Christmas wishes sees these and responds in a positive manner.

Cliff Eastham is a Featured Columnist on Bleacher Report where this article was first published.

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